I went to the doctor today and talked to her about what I have been feeling lately. I cried as I told her, tried to make excuses about why I was feeling this way, but in the end said everything I wanted to say...and she said I definitely have many signs of postpartum anxiety and depression. The anxiety is actually causing my depression. The doctor prescribed me Zoloft and told me to take if for a month and come back for a check in. Problem is I don't really want to take an antidepressant...I feel like if I take the pills I am officially admitting I am crazy. I know it is a horrible stigma to have in my head but I can't help but think this way.
After talking to Chad, I decided to take the medicine. So I took the first pill tonight. The doctor said it won't change everything and make the world around me look like rainbows, but it will hopefully settle me down, focus me and help me not always "snap" like I am now. The doctor also said it will take at least a week for me to start seeing a difference.
My worries: the medicine will make me worse (suicidal), I will be on this medicine the rest of my life, or that Chad will treat me differently because he thinks I'm a different person.
Here goes nothing....let's hope this helps :)
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